As you may or may not recall, I had some resolutions for 2014. Actually, I had 12 of them - I was going to take on one challenge each month, six which I'd already meticulously mapped out, the rest which were yet to be determined.
In January, I was going to hydrate and meditate, and we all know how that turned out. In February, I was going to either send a card or call someone every day. I think I only called Ella (in my defense, we talked for three hours) and I sent about four cards total. I thought about reading for thirty minutes a day in March, really I did, but I was slogging through Cold Mountain for book club and I'm sorry but I did not like that book AT ALL. And April was supposed to be Yoga Everyday, which I actually probably came pretty close to, except I don't think I should count it because I wasn't even aware that was the goal on the table. As it turns out, I gave up on the whole enterprise sometime in mid-February.
This is usually the point where I roll out a list of excuses. I was graduating! I was job hunting! I was trying to finish my thesis! I had students to teach! And yes, all those things are true. But it's also true that I could have easily written a few more cards, or found a half an hour in my day to read an actual book, instead of trolling the Internet for the thousandth time. The Actual Truth is that I got lazy. I didn't feel like it. And so I didn't.
Which also seems like a good opportunity to roll out some cliches. Follow your heart! Listen to your passions! Do what you want, because life is short! Dream big! Except I don't believe those things. If I only did what my heart told me, I would be eating a lot of cake and watching endless episodes of Glee. Which is great in the moment but doesn't really do anything for Future Chrissy. And while not everything I do must have some vastly great effect on my future (god, that would make for a boring life) tiny things, like a one little goal a month, should.
My only consolation is that it's May. While I will not pick up the mantle of monthly resolutions again ("learn from your mistakes" is one mantra I *can* get on board with) I have plenty of time to establish some better habits. I will make more time to read books instead of the Internet. I will start exercising regularly again. I will finish revising my novel. I will clear my clutter and live more simply. I don't have to do these things in the span of a particular month. But I will do them. And next year, I will make my resolutions the good old-fashioned way.